Getting Oakland out of a brown and sticky situation

If you haven't heard the hilarious/disgusting/disturbing and just plain sad situation of the Oakland Athletics take a quick ride on the magical interweb tubes and follow this link... or this warp tube to another webpage. That is so gross and sad and not at all surprising. Until Pac-Bell park opened in 2000 the coliseum was the jewel of Bay Area stadiums. That isn't saying much since Candlestick was a place that even the men of the Nights Watch wouldn't even venture. Ever since the Giants opened PacBell (now At&t) Oakland has gone down the shitter, literally. There has been a lot of internet ink spilled about how the A's are being blocked by the big-bad Giants from claiming their rightful home in either arm-pit of the Bay Area. The owners of the A's can have their choice of the left armpit of Fremont, or the right pit of San Jose. Ok, neither of those places are that bad, but I have lived in both cities and they have little to offer compared to keeping the team in Oakland.

I loathe moving professional teams, unless it is absolutely necessary. The Sonics leaving Seattle is so wrong it still upsets me when I think about it. The Oilers (football version) should have stayed in Houston, the Nordiques is a way cooler name than the Avalanche and first Browns NFL team should never have gone to Baltimore. The Bay Area has more than enough money to support 6 professional teams (2 MLB, 2 NFL, 1 NBA, 1 NHL), but I think it might be better served letting bygones be bygones and sending the A's off with the full blessing and support to a community that has been groomed perfectly to accept the A's into their welcoming arms. The Oakland MLB ball-club should move to Portland, Oregon.

Portland clearly makes sense; we'd become immediate rivals with Seattle in the AL West and they'd still  have a bitter fan-based rivalry in San Francisco to see who is the more hipster/weird fan bases in all of professional sports.

I have begun work on a $1,100,000,000.00 Kickstarter to make this happen. Please stand by for more information... this is going to be seriously awesome. BEST. IDEA. EVER!