Quick updates before I commit to predicting the rest of 2013...
WTF is going on with the Giants getting sick? Andres Torres left the game today with stomach pains and Matt Cain left the game a few days ago with digestive troubles. Cain blamed the incident on what he ate the night before. His quote to reporters when asked what he ate was along the lines of "I don't want to throw someone under the bus." My immediate thought was that he had dinner at a teammates house. Now here is the question... Does Jeremy Affeldt thaw his burgers days in advance now? Who could it have been? My top ten list of teammate culprits are:
1) Angel Pagan - I have no idea why he was number one on my list, but I have a feeling that he has a stomach of steel and "The Cainer" couldn't keep up with the spice. Thank god for Puerto Ricans!
2) Brandon Belt - he sat in Cain's seat on the bench during his perfect game... there is precedence here!
3) Affeldt - See previous reference to the burger incident... if I remember college at all; brown/green hamburger meat doesn't get better even if you cook them past well-done.
4) Bumgardner - Mad-Bum bought a cow for his wife as a wedding present... doesn't take too much to jump from Mad-Bum to Mad-Cow
5) Tim Lincecum - The only bachelor on the pitching staff. I don't believe he's ever cooked for himself. Seriously can you see him making himself a sandwich? HELL NO! Timmy calls up a service and gets a sandwich delivered, because that game of FIFA 13 isn't going to finish itself.
6) Yusmeiro Petit - Got a taste of the big time last year after we clinched the division. If I've learned one thing from Law and Order, it always comes down to motive. If I had to poison Cain or Vogelsong I'd choose Cain 10 times out of 10. Also, I only had to guess 3 times to get "Yusmeriro" spelled correctly.
7) Buster Posey - If I've learned two things from Law and Order it is that it is always the person you least expect.
8) Pablo Sandoval - Total mistake, no harm meant.
9) Andres Torres - Had no idea that chicken left on the counter could get salmonel- hey is that a bird! Wow it hella just - Hey! It's good to see you today. Would you like me to warm up your- Hey! I'm so happy to see you man! It's been a long time! Want some chicken?
10) Barry Zito - Going to a fiber-rich/vegan/colonoscopy diet after 3 months of cheeseburgers will do wonders on your BM's.
But in all seriousness I had one thought, and it was; "I hope he had dinner with Freddie Sanchez." I have no rational idea why that would be the case, but I hope to god it was true. We forget that 2011 sucked for a reason other than the Posey/Cousins incident. Remember when the At&T would chant "Freddie! Freddie! Freddie!" um, yeah, there was a reason for that. Remember when we played games after his injury with the Miguel Tejada/Orlando Cabrera/Mike Fontenot/Jeff Keppinger/Bill Hall shit-storm we got for 100+ games? Freddie doesn't get his due with Giants fans. His most iconic image will always be his snow-cone grab in the World Series, but we loved his clutch performance at the plate. He was Scutaro before we had a Scutaro. I think both the fans and media discount Freddie's importance to 2010 and the subsequent fallout in 2011. And as painful as the offense was in 2011 we still finished in 2nd place...3.5 games ahead of the Dodgers in the NL West. WOW! Lets take a look at that again and revel in the glory of Dave Righetti. In summation I really wish that Freddie had a more gracious exit. Aubrey Huff at least had the prolonged humiliation to the point where we all rationalized it compared to his 2010 contributions. Freddie just faded away, as did the fans memory of his importance.
All the jokes aside, I'm actually somewhat concerned about Scottsdale and the flu. In the time between Cain and Torres, a number of media who cover the Giants have also gone down with an illness. Isolated incident you say? Bah-humbug! The only time I've gone to Scottsdale, both myself and my girlfriend contracted the flu. There is nothing worse/better than having a 100+ fever and watching a horrible game in Surprise Arizona. Also the fact that the Rangers/Royals serve heated peanuts makes everything okay.
2013 predictions to come... once I'm done ODing on the WBC.
